This year's college experience for me was easier than last year. Here I am from last year, sitting with #1's stuff while he went up to his dorm room. My emotions stayed in check while we were bringing stuff up to his room and organizing. When it was time for me to leave he was doing great with his roommate and gave me a hug and kiss and told me he'd call. There were so many people around moving their kids in that I distracted myself watching them on my way out. I did great until I got to the highway and heard a song that set my tears off. Then I got home and made myself a drink and went into his room and sat in his chair and cried some more. It was a few days before I could go back into his room with feeling an empty sadness.
The change in our relationship has been good for both of us. My relationship with him has changed in a positive way. I keep reminding myself that this is what I want for him. The fact that he is confident and independent makes me proud. When he came home he was so much more thankful for clean laundry and food and he didn't hesitate to tell me how much.
Today #1 did some laundry, cleaned his room, asked if he could take some food from the cupboard and packed his car. He gave me a hug after discussing when I would come and see his apartment. Then he got in his car and with a wave drove off.
It was still like a hunk of my heart was driving away. I'll miss his daily presence in my life, but I am grateful that we had this summer.
I also still miss that IKEA chair he took.
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